20 Years

Woah. 20 years. Just yesterday I was running around my house in a leotard and tutu singing Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys songs. I don't feel 20. Or maybe I do, and it's just the fact that I don't want to feel 20. Maybe it's that I don't want to face the actuality that I am no longer a teenager. Or maybe it's the unnerving feeling I get deep in my stomach when I start to even think about the responsibilities I will be facing as an adult along with being a wife and a Mother in my near future.  But at the same time, there is something so exhilarating about being this age. About being in my prime. 
Life is good, people. Life is so so good! I just can't help but be happy when I think about my life and all the people in it. And I'm not saying my life is good because it has been perfect, because it hasn't. Perfectly imperfect is what I'll call it. I think most all of us can say that we have either heard or have used the comparison that "my life is like a roller coaster". Well guys, if my life was a roller coaster it would probably be the most legit one in the whole theme park, with a line all the way to China. Because I have had a substantial amount of lows in my life along with some extreme high's. Up and down and up and down. But, like my roller coaster, it's been a great ride. 
In my moments of low times, I most definitely would be lying if I said that I was enjoying my life to the fullest. It's a little hard for me to even think back to some of those hard moments in my life because with those memories, I can almost still feel the pain that I felt in those moments. But I learned the most from those "lows". That's what life is about! It's about having those ups and downs and hard times! It's about getting knocked down and standing right back up even stronger than you were before. Our lives would be boring without a little drama and push and pull. I always just try to remember that the bad days make the good days better. 
When I was younger, I remember picturing myself at this age and thinking, "When I am 20, I'll have everything figured out." I don't know if you all felt this way, but when I was younger, I feel like I tended to only think about the childish things that I wanted out of being an adult. I wanted to move out and be on my own with "no rules" and "nobody to tell me what to do". I couldn't wait to be older so that I could make my own curfew, stay up as long as my eyes would allow, eat all the junk food I could in one sitting, listen to loud music, and not have a care in the world. I never thought about the dreary things that would inevitably come with being an adult. But whether I thought about it or not, I was smacked in the face with the reality of being a grown up. Paying rent, buying groceries, cooking, bills, working, college, etc, etc, etc. It's a heavy load at times. And it seems to only get heavier with each passing year. More to do, more to learn, more responsibilities. I'll be honest, I miss the days when my only responsibilities were making my bed, taking a bath, brushing my teeth, and making sure that my Polly Pockets were neatly organized and dressed for the day.
There's something else though.
I never thought about these dismal things that would come with growing older, but along with that, there has been a lot of great things that I never anticipated or could have foreseen as a younger teenager. Something that has been one of my favorite moments of being older, is becoming best friends with my parents, and specifically my mother. I think most all of us can relate to being a rebellious or immature teenager who becomes separated from the home and family because of differing points of views on just about everything. As an adult, parents become more of an equal rather than a commanding and demanding supervisor. The way we talk to each other is on a completely different level, and it has been such a great blessing in my life to have parents that I can sit down and talk to and feel that we can finally understand each other. I can honestly say, that my parents have become my best friends.
Even though growing older is hard, I love it. I love being challenged and I love learning. I wouldn't be able to face this world without my loved ones surrounding me, cheering me on in my everyday obstacle course. There's nothing that is too hard for me to handle as long as I have my family and friends by my side. And after reminiscing on my life this past week, my gratitude for all these people has shot off the charts.
To all of you who have helped shape the woman I am today,
thank you.
:)

~Sadie Nicole







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Some Sort of Person

Some sort of person you are. Spending moments with you seems unfair to everyone else. But in those moments, I don't care to be so selfish. I'd take all of your time if I could. I feel as though you stand above me and pull the strings attached to the corners of my mouth. You are, after all, the reason for my smile. Smiling has never been so easy, effortless, and simple.  I wonder sometimes if you know how often the words "I love you" come into my mind. I don't say it every time. I don't want you to know that I actually do love. you. more. It's weird...feeling like this. Some sort of person you are.
Read more

Today, Tomorrow, But Not Yesterday.

Image
Have you ever noticed that when something goes wrong in your life, or hasn't gone according to plan, the people who surround you and care about you, all try to give a little piece of advice? And they aren't just doing it out of pity, or because they feel obligated to, but it's real. They truly want you to feel better. And each little piece is unique because it came from an experience that they once had and from something that they once learned. It's like getting all the "good" from these past experiences, without feeling all the "bad". This last week has been full of sit-down talks, paragraph texts, long hugs, and encouraging smiles :). At first, I just wanted everybody to leave me alone.. And I felt annoyed that everyone was "up in my business". Ha. The last thing I wanted to be doing was talking about what had happened, and why it happened, and how I felt. BUT, as of late, these people have made me realize more than I ever would have...
Read more

Ooey Gooey Words

In this lifetime.. Goodbyes and heartbreak are almost inevitable. There's a beginning and there's an end. A point when everything you've known becomes everything you knew. And still, at the height of it all, it doesn't matter. Because there's no better feeling than being with someone who knows you and accepts you. Even for just a short while. That person becomes your other half - your reason for happiness. And it feels good because it just does. Because love makes us feel that way. That way that's indescribable. You don't think about the end because it seems too far away. And you don't think about the end because we're too young to be sad. But sometimes it just comes. The end of just a beginning. And for a moment, you wait. For somebody to shake you awake, and realize that you were only dreaming. Standing there numb, waiting as long as possible, until you realize nobody is coming to end this thing that feels like a nightmare. And so you run to the o...
Read more