I Can't Sleep With My Hair Down

I can't sleep with my hair down. 
It's too long. I've tried it. JUST so that I can have that messy/sexy look in the morning like women in the movies do. Not that that accomplishes anything at all, but waking up and looking in the mirror would be a lot less traumatic if I didn't look like a zombie that crawled out of World War Z. But no. 
I can't sleep with my hair down. 
It gives me the sensation of spiderwebs being woven across my face. I hate it. Along with that, each time my body feels the urge to switch positions every two minutes, I have to sort of whip my head around and then quickly smash my face into the pillow so that my hair falls behind my head in a flat-like fashion. It's not an easy task, and quite frankly uses too much energy. And I can't be the only one who pinches their own hair in between their armpit and then can't get it unstuck....?? Or maybe I am... Gosh dangit.
 So no. I don't know what it's like to wake up with messy/sexy hair. I do however, know what it's like to wake up with what looks to be a hairball from the shower drain on top of my head. So that's cool. Whatever. Good night. 
**Puts hair up**

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