Inside Every Day

    My belly moves a little bit and at first I don't notice.  The second wiggle catches my attention, though, and I think,  "Hey, baby." It's a weird, surreal, and unexplainable feeling to know that something, someONE, is inside you... growing, with no effort on your behalf. Your body just does it. Somehow, it knows exactly what to do. Pregnancy could be better - at least for me. It could be worse too, I guess, but I'm just saying. It's not my favorite thing in the world to always feel... off. To always feel sick or tired or sore. The list of challenges could go on, unfortunately. But, you know what I do like about pregnancy? That I've got this little, tiny, itty-bitty friend with me at all times, keeping me company.  Everything I do, WE do. Every song I listen to, WE listen to. Together. Whether they like it or not. Ha. I like that idea. I like the idea that I will always be my baby's first friend. Their first bond. The first voice that they hear. And...

Some sort of person you are. Spending moments with you seems unfair to everyone else. But in those moments, I don't care to be so selfish. I'd take all of your time if I could. I feel as though you stand above me and pull the strings attached to the corners of my mouth. You are, after all, the reason for my smile. Smiling has never been so easy, effortless, and simple.  I wonder sometimes if you know how often the words "I love you" come into my mind. I don't say it every time. I don't want you to know that I actually do love. you. more. It's weird...feeling like this. Some sort of person you are.

I can't sleep with my hair down.  It's too long. I've tried it. JUST so that I can have that messy/sexy look in the morning like women in the movies do. Not that that accomplishes anything at all, but waking up and looking in the mirror would be a lot less traumatic if I didn't look like a zombie that crawled out of World War Z. But no.  I can't sleep with my hair down.  It gives me the sensation of spiderwebs being woven across my face. I hate it. Along with that, each time my body feels the urge to switch positions every two minutes, I have to sort of whip my head around and then quickly smash my face into the pillow so that my hair falls behind my head in a flat-like fashion. It's not an easy task, and quite frankly uses too much energy. And I can't be the only one who pinches their own hair in between their armpit and then can't get it unstuck....?? Or maybe I am... Gosh dangit.  So no. I don't know what it's like to wake up with ...

 My whole life, I was trained to believe in Happily Ever Afters. The endless amounts of Disney Movies, and storybooks turned my brain into an eternal ball of sappy goop that only absorbed all things "love". At five years old I had already developed a mental definition of love. Apparently, love was dancing with Prince Charming, being kissed while sleeping, and riding off into the sunset alongside a perfect man who I had met just moments before. Not to mention we'd probably be singing a song that we both just so happen to know the lyrics to. Love was not something that was in any way unattainable. And according to my knowledge, finding your "Prince Charming" took no effort at all. In fact, if you just waited a bit, he'd find you.  College dating life took all that I believed as a child and shot that horse right in the face.  Happily Ever Afters existed only in movies and in the mind of children. I became one of those bitter girls who sits on her unm...

Single life is fun and all, but being in a relationship with someone who you could swear was completely and without a doubt made for you... That's just a tad bit better.  I've been in relationships before, but not like this one. I'm not about the ooey gooey lovey "ok we get that you two are in love" type of posts, but I've realized a lot of things after being with someone like I have, and so I'll tell you what I think. I think... that I totally get it now. I get why we need someone else. I get why marriage is such a heavenly and sacred thing. I get the saying that "two is better than one". I get all of it.  Nothing rings more true in my ears.  Being in love with your best friend could very possibly be one of life's greatest blessings. I have loved many times. Or so I thought. But I don't know if I completely understood what love was. And maybe I still don't completely understand it's depths. But to care about so...

My friends tell me that my life is like a movie. And I so badly wish I could say that the genre of this movie, that I call my life, was a romance film. You know..romance..with the typical story line of "Woe me, I'm alone and have nobody to love", and then out of nowhere I drop my books in the hall, and the most gorgeous guy on campus just so happens to be there to pick my books up for me, and while picking my belongings off the floor, our hands accidentally touch, our eyes meet, all of a sudden his every movement is in slow motion, and the gravitational pull of the earth has altered to be the center of his smile. Blah blah blah blah blahhhhhh. Nope. That crap doesn't exist. My life, this movie, is a freakin romantic comedy. I swear,the closer an attractive guy gets to me, the more likely something awful is about to happen. So I try to keep about a 20 foot radius between me and any attractive  person of  the opposite sex.. I'm serious...