Inside Every Day

I've always been a night owl. Mornings are awful…  And morning people freak me out. Ha. If you know me, you know that that I am a frequent visitor of the 3AM's and 4AM's.  I don't really know what it is about the night that I love so much…  Actually, no, scratch that. I definitely know why. I stay up really late some nights because when the sun goes down, and the street lights come on.. It's like time stops for a moment, and the whole world is asleep. You can be who you want to be, do what you want to do, and you can sit and think about a million different things without the guilty feeling of being lazy. And even though most times I end up paying for it the next day.. I still love it. And at the end of the next day, when the sun goes to bed, I find myself staying awake again just so I can feel the calmness and peacefulness that only the night hours can offer me. It's the only time that I can really call "mine".  It's like a whole different...

      After what felt like a very long day of school, I got in my car, already sweating just from the five minute walk outside, and drove my normal route back to my apartment. You know that one traffic light that you just can't stand to get a red on because it literally is the longest red light in the whole world? Yeah, well for me, that light would be the intersection of State Street and University Parkway. I was coming up to the light of no return, and just like clockwork, as I was getting closer, the light switched from green, to yellow, to red. Bitter about it, mostly just because I feel defeated when I get stopped at this light, I relaxed a bit in my seat knowing that it would be a good century before I'd be driving again. But little did I know that a tender mercy from The Lord was given to me that day in the form of a red light. Just to the right of me, sitting at the corner, was an old man with a cardboard sign that read,  "Vet in need, anything will help...

Sometimes on nights like tonight,  I'd rather just stay home. There's something so great about taking a night off from the rest of the world, and simply doing nothing. Or doing the small things that I feel like I don't get to do as often as I would like to…  like drawing in my sketch book, writing in my journal, reading, blogging, playing my guitar, singing, etc. I had several opportunities to go hang out with different groups of friends, but I needed a night like this one. A night where I get to come home to my quiet apartment, pull my hair up in a bun, throw on sweats and a t-shirt, and cuddle up in my electric blanket and have a movie marathon  while eating Taco Bell and ice-cream. Haha I'm sure you can imagine it. It's not that I'm grumpy or tired, or that I'm not wanting to socialize, but I thoroughly just enjoy getting away from it all every now and then. :) Even though these types of nights are pretty insignificant, and ...

I've been thinking a lot about the term "soul mate" recently... What is a soul mate anyway? I don't even know if I believe in such a thing. It seems fictional. I've always been taught that you can be happy with just about anybody as long as you are willing to work together to love and accept one another for all that each of you are; flaws and all. But it's not really like that. You don't want to spend the rest of forever with just anybody. I think all of us strive to find the one person that 100% completes us. In a way I feel like our soul mates are the people who tear us apart from the inside out and force us to be everything we didn't know we were. A soul mate should push you to your limits, and bring out every fear about love you've ever had. Because love is scary, and until you feel scared, maybe it's not love at all. But what are the odds that we find that person in our lifetime? Our "soul mate". And what if that person is half ...

As all of you most likely know, I'm pretty new to the world of blogging. I'm no pro at this. And to be honest, I spend a lot of time staring at a blank screen unsure of what to even write about, usually distracted by Netflix playing in the background while I "try" to type something up. Haha. I heard that if you're blogs aren't in some way benefiting your readers, or giving them something to connect to or something to learn from what you write, then you might as well be writing in a diary where nobody but yourself will see it. I don't want to bore you with these posts, and so I try to write about experiences and situations that I have had that maybe some of us can relate to. Because there's nothing better than being able to share similar feelings with complete strangers over an online community am I right? :) Haha but really. It's sometimes very relieving to see that we're not in this alone. This life is something we are all doing. We struggle,...

Woah. 20 years. Just yesterday I was running around my house in a leotard and tutu singing Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys songs. I don't feel 20. Or maybe I do, and it's just the fact that I don't want to feel 20. Maybe it's that I don't want to face the actuality that I am no longer a teenager. Or maybe it's the unnerving feeling I get deep in my stomach when I start to even think about the responsibilities I will be facing as an adult along with being a wife and a Mother in my near future.  But at the same time, there is something so exhilarating about being this age. About being in my prime.  Life is good, people. Life is so so good! I just can't help but be happy when I think about my life and all the people in it. And I'm not saying my life is good because it has been perfect, because it hasn't. Perfectly imperfect is what I'll call it. I think most all of us can say that we have either heard or have used the comparison that "m...

"I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I feel like this." This tired. My days are starting to overspill into my nights, and my body hates me for it. Let's be real, I'm a little grumpy and have too much to do. And the fact that my stomach is starting to yell at  me for ignoring its needs is a great addition to the day. But I've got a bag of chocolate waiting for me at home and a jug of grape juice, so I think I'll survive the day. I'd like to think that I'm pretty well established in my new life here in Provo… When it comes to work, school, and social life at least. I've become a professional at the work and social aspect of things… But I'm struggling to find a balance between those two things and my lovely school crap. Haha. My prior...

"What changed you?" My teacher asked our class this question at the start of the hour and gave us a moment to ponder and analyze. Our next english paper would be an autobiography about the moment in our lives when everything changed. When "who we are" became "who we are". Each person in the class was called on, and in turn would share what they would write about - what changed them. As each person told their story, I noticed a pattern. Everyone in the class talked about some huge experience that happened in their life that supposedly was the moment that everything changed. Car accidents, humanitarian trips to other countries, deaths in families, missions, etc, etc.  But for me.. There were no moments like this in my life. No huge experiences that changed me. I never had any ah-ha moments or bursts of light. I can't pinpoint a time when I became who I am today.  Because not one thing has changed me. Everything has. It's those little things -...

Well hello my adoring fans! :) Haha joke. I've been meaning to post more blog posts. One, because my life is awesome let's be honest, and two..I'm going to get a bad grade in Communications if I don't, but uh..Mostly number two.. :) I've been trying to sew the events that have taken place all together into one category or topic, but to be quite frank, there's just way too much to sort it all out, and I realized that I don't need to tell you all about my life and bore you with the details of it all, but instead I should write about the thoughts that have taken over my mind regarding all these things. In the last two weeks, my life has taken a complete 180. And not in a bad way either. If I were walking out of my math class after taking a test, this is the way I'd feel after totally dominating it and getting an A+. Haha probably the worst comparison I've ever made, but that's beside the point… haha! Everything has fallen into place, and...

In this lifetime.. Goodbyes and heartbreak are almost inevitable. There's a beginning and there's an end. A point when everything you've known becomes everything you knew. And still, at the height of it all, it doesn't matter. Because there's no better feeling than being with someone who knows you and accepts you. Even for just a short while. That person becomes your other half - your reason for happiness. And it feels good because it just does. Because love makes us feel that way. That way that's indescribable. You don't think about the end because it seems too far away. And you don't think about the end because we're too young to be sad. But sometimes it just comes. The end of just a beginning. And for a moment, you wait. For somebody to shake you awake, and realize that you were only dreaming. Standing there numb, waiting as long as possible, until you realize nobody is coming to end this thing that feels like a nightmare. And so you run to the o...

Have you ever noticed that when something goes wrong in your life, or hasn't gone according to plan, the people who surround you and care about you, all try to give a little piece of advice? And they aren't just doing it out of pity, or because they feel obligated to, but it's real. They truly want you to feel better. And each little piece is unique because it came from an experience that they once had and from something that they once learned. It's like getting all the "good" from these past experiences, without feeling all the "bad". This last week has been full of sit-down talks, paragraph texts, long hugs, and encouraging smiles :). At first, I just wanted everybody to leave me alone.. And I felt annoyed that everyone was "up in my business". Ha. The last thing I wanted to be doing was talking about what had happened, and why it happened, and how I felt. BUT, as of late, these people have made me realize more than I ever would have...

What seemed like a horrible weekend in front of me, turned into adventures in Provo and Orem with two of the greatest pick-me-uppers I know. I can't thank these two enough for the love and friendship they have always given me. Mikay and Skyler, you sexy beasts, I love you to death. Thanks again. ~Sadie Nicole~

I'm just sorta pumped because after months and months of no new music, and an ongoing list of songs and shazam tags, I finally had the chance to download it all onto my iPhone. (Whoo! Cue celebration dance.) Oh my goodness, but really, it's like Christmas morning. I've probably been annoying the people around me for constantly having my headphones in, and who knows how many people have tried to talk to me at school. That's a great way to make friends. They say hello, and I literally don't even acknowledge their existence. Haha! Naw, let's be honest, nobody really says hi to me in the halls anyway. But I find enjoyment in not having anybody to have to talk to or impress. Except my boyfriend is most likely getting tired of the unbrushed, naturally curly, tangled nest sitting on top of my head every day. I took the "You look good no matter what" a little too literally, and most likely am making him regret ever saying that. Ha. I've found out that...

The nights are getting colder, the sweatshirts are coming out, the haunted houses are opening, and it's time to face the fact that Summer 2k14 is officially coming to an end. :( Nooooo! But to be quite frank, I'm too stoked for Halloween and the holidays. Also, I feel that my fashion sense is a little better in the Fall, and I won't look like a lazy butt all the time wearing my nike pro shorts and t-shirts. Yay for jeans, cute sweatshirts, boots, and layers. :) Oh, the joys of cooler weather. Summer is splendid, but I say once school starts, the weather can stop pretending that we're still able to take a vacay to the beach, and cool the heck down. But that's just my say. School is such a downer on life sometimes. But anyway. Goodbye Summer. Thank you for my vacation to the beach, adventures with my loved ones, my first time real rock climbing, and the birth of my very first nephew! You've been so good to me.  ~Sadie Nic...

For the last year, I have been more than ready to be on my own. You know, the "I'm sick of being at home and I want to make my own freakin rules" type of thinking. Well, here I am, in my corner of the apartment, living just thirty-five minutes from South Jordan and the house I love to call my true home. There's nothing wrong with Provo, UT, but I find myself feeling like I am just on a little vacation. Like there's no possible way that this is my new home. It's as if Room 202 is a stranger and I am stuck sitting next to it on the city bus. But it's ok because I know that after the next few stops I'll be getting off and won't have to see this stranger or feel the awkward, silent tension between us ever again. But nope. Haha! For the next year, this place, this apartment, this room, is my new home. Now, of course I know it's just going to take some getting use to and some unwanted adjustments, but right now, the silence is killing...

I must say, creating this blog was one thing, but figuring out how to use it?? Not something I have enjoyed. Welcome though, to a blog about me. The insides of my everyday life through pictures and writing. Enjoy. Or don't. I won't be too butt hurt about it…  ~Sadie Nicole~